HOW TO KILL WITH SUICIDE

THIS IS LOG TEXT / þis is dairy text

SUBJECT WAKES UP

SUBJECT IS GIVEN A NOTEBOOK & PEN

The blinding lights don’t shut off. They want me to break, to speak, BUT I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT ME TO SAY OR CONFESS. I just… woke up here. I do not know how I am here. The last þing I remember is… I am not sure. I was in a rush… but WHY ME? WHY WAS I THE ONE TO GET LOCKED IN THIS PINK ROOM? Whoever put me here did not want me sleeping. Not as a result of noise: I can hear þe quiet terryfing sound of my own blood moving þrough my viens near my ear. Because of þe constant blinding lights þat bounce off þe bright pink walls, blocking all escape. I want to leave already yet þe only exit is up þere, in þe window above me. What is it for?

SUBJECT SUPPLIED WITH NUTRIENTS

Can þey hear me? They dropped a green brick. I found out its edible yet tasteless, horribly tasteless. Do þey expect me to survive wiþ þis? THIS IS ABSURD! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME FACING THE WORST FATE? WHY AM I IN HERE? AND WHY WOULD THEY GIVE ME A NOTEBOOK? This has to be an experiment, a test on how much a human can survive alone. But þey are giving me food… No. This is a queue. As þe time passes I slowly but surely wait for my turn to die in whatever experiment þey picked for me to endure. Why would you let þis happen? WHY DO YOU WANT ME DEAD?

SUBJECT IS OBSERVED TO THROW THEIR PEN ACROSS THE ROOM, RUN TO A WALL AND START PUNCHING IT WITH FURY, EVERY TIME THEY PULL BACK THEIR HAND ITS A BIT MORE RED TILL THEY STOP FROM PAIN AND GRAB THE NOTEBOOK AND PEN

I need to try to sleep. Yet þe lights do not turn off, forever blinding, never resting or taking a break, forcing me to do þe same

SUBJECT FAILS TO SLEEP AND STANDS IN SILENCE FOR [UNKNOWN] HOURS
SUBJECT GIVES UP AND STARTS WRITING

This is not a queue… or a sick experiment. YOU ARE ACTIVELY KILLING ME! YOU ARE KILLING ME YOU MANICS. OH MY GOD YOU SICK CLINICAL UNFORGIVABLE MANIACS! WHAT IS IT? RADIATION? MICROWAVES? CHEMICAL FUCKING WARFARE? TELL ME, PLEASE! Or tell me anyþing really… I just want someone to talk to, to have a conversation wiþ. I yearn for human contact before þe pink walls shallow me whole. When I die, please bury me.

SUBJECT CRIES SOFTLY FOR [UNKNOWN] HOURS BEFORE SLEEPING FOR [UNKNOWN] HOURS
SUBJECT WAKES UP AND LOOKS TERRIFIED. STARTS WRITING

I need to convince þem to let me go, I need to leave as SOON AS POSSIBLE. I saw faces, distorted faces of distorted people in þe shadows. I need to leave while my sanity is recoverable… I need stimulation. I NEED TO BREAK THE ISOLATION

SUBJECT STOPS WRITING AND SCREAMS TO THE SHADOWS WORDS OF PAIN FILLED WITH SLURS WHILE DIGGING HIS NAILS INTO HIS HANDS TILL THE MARKS LOOK INFECTED.

I just want to leave, to be treated as a human. I want people to talk to. I want a conversation yet instead I am ROTTING IN PAIN AND FEAR. Can someone let me

SUBJECT RAISES HEAD AND STAYS STILL BEFORE CONTINUING THE WRITING

I just heard footsteps, REAL FOOTSTEPS. I AM FREE!

SUBJECT STANDS UP AND PRESSES HIS EAR AGAINST THE WALL GOING IN CIRCLES IN THE NOW CYLINDRICAL ROOM. THEY TRY TO FOLLOW WHAT THEY HEAR YET IT FEELS LIKE ITS RANDOM.
SUBJECT STARTS SCREAMING AT THE WALLS TO TAKE HIM WITH THEM TO LET HIM FOLLOW TO THE OUTSIDE
SUBJECT PICKS UP NOTEBOOK

I see þem, I hear þem, I know þey are here to pick me up yet þe walls are too tough for my mortal body to follow þem outside. Why won't þey help me? THEY HAVE HELPED ME BEFORE! THE BUGS ARE CRAWLING ON ME YET RUNNING TO HIDE WHEN I LOOK AT THEM. THEY ARE HIDING INSIDE ME I SWEAR. I WILL TEAR MY SKIN OFF TO FIND THEM. I CAN FEEL THEIR BODIES INSIDE ME, EATING ME FROM THE INSIDE. YET MY SKIN STRETCHES WHEN I TRY TO RIP IT OFF. IT DOES NOT OBEY MY WISHES. IT OBEYS ITS OWN WISHES. THIS IS NOT MY BODY! IT A VESSEL WITHIN I AM FORCED TO SUFFER.
I am like a parasite forced to invade þe wrong animal. I need to kill þe vessel to be set free. I am þe bugs I feel and I need to get rid of þe skin to escape. I NEED TO EAT THE SKIN TO ESCAPE. THE VOICES OF LOGIC ARE NEVER WRONG YOU HEAR ME?

SUBJECT IS GIVEN NUTRIENTS
SUBJECT IS HEARD SCREAMING:

I won’t eat it. Take þe food back, I know you can hear me. TAKE IT PLEASE I AM HUNGRY. DONT LET MY VESSEL CONTROL ME.

SUBJECT STARTS EATING THE FOOD AT EXCESSIVE SPEEDS WHILE CRYING
SUBJECT IS HEARD TALKING IN-BETWEEN THE BITES

I NEED TO KILL THIS VESSEL. Do you really þink þey would do þat for me? Your logic makes sense…

SUBJECT DIRECTS HIS WORDS TO [ ]

Give me a knife to kill þe vessel þat broke þe rule of obedience.

FINALLY, KNIFE IS SUPPLIED AS REQUESTED

SUBJECT [536] TAKES THE KNIFE AND WITHOUT HESITATION CUTS THE SKIN OF HIS THIGHS, HOLDS IT ABOVE HIS OPEN MOUTH AND DRINKS THE BLOOD THAT DRIPS BEFORE EATING IT RAW. THE BUGS ARE NOT YET FREED, DO WHAT YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

SUBJECT STABS HIMSELF THROUGH HIS NECK TO RELEASE THE BUGS HE BELIEVED WERE REAL. HE DROPS DEAD LETTING THE BRIGHT RED LIQUID STAIN THE PINK ROOM AGAIN.

THE DEATH WAS LABELED, SUICIDE